If I could just close my eyes

I'd be unaware of the fear
the great divide that seats itself between me and you
the misty fog, rising up out of thin, heated air
the knowledge that flows from my mouth is just that,
hot breath, careless words from a foolish heart looking for love

Because really isn't that what we are all looking for?
The chance to grow up, mature, grow up, come out on top?
Roll with the punches, learn from life's lessons?

Before we can roll out with any more cliches, let us continue
back when we first made out, it was all about when I could see you
when I could feel you, fall into you
we changed.

Now you bring yourself close to me
my hands start to shake, my body feels weak even though I'm pressed
right on top of you with all my weight
i'm about to do something I've been waiting for
try to make this right, make this last all night

Your skin is warm, a glowing heat.
you kiss me close, somewhat passionate, totally mysterious
i know what is next, and my legs slightly quiver as I pull through
we fit, we are together, just us two.
whenever you feel as close as this, hold it, strangle this moment
let your words curl out of your lips with remorse nonexistent

This is all you have left.
And all you have left,
is what was given to you.

It's a war within myself

Tear this up and throw it out. Burn my letters, and forget the nights of Survivor where we'd play stranded alone on the island we called your white bed sheets, surrounded by the deep ocean of blankets, beside the beaches of white pillows. Where our sparks flying kept the small fire burning and the unstable, wooden raft of emotions provided our only escape. We knew to keep our thoughts away from the white, circular patterned stucco clouds on the ceiling which always came rushing down upon us - you knew better than me where our old memories hang from. Force your smile now, make these words about you, because isn't that what I'm trying to do? Make you think, compare myself to what you wanted before we were through? Exasperate love that isn't there, make an innocent situation convoluted, because that's what we were meant to pursue. This is looking like a contest of who can act like they care less, but wasn't it better before this? It's time to be brand new, be brave, spring out who you are, and be who you've never been. I'm never going to be a Doctor, but I know your heart was something special.

Later as the island washes away in the wind, I just want you to think.

Making my life

"I'm so excited about us"
(L)

Move for me

I truly feel rested and prepared for what is ahead. My nerves have settled.
Move for me. I'll move for you.
DJ, turn the lights down, let the speakers flow their sound.
It's a sight that should always be repeated. Tangled arms, interwoven features, no chance for escape.
The stars have never shone so bright.
I hold this moment, clenched teeth erase a betraying of my own fear, substanceless.
I feel every junction of your body pulsing subsequently in time with my own.
The greatest part of your being is your ability to throw me haphazardly, into you so deeply.
Spiraling into an abyss. Locked in a dungeon. Encaged by your legs and fingers.
There's a specific beauty to your collarbones, a sharp point of contention, rising from the depths of your skin
It is you, that drives my soul, where I lose control.

Unpredictable seas.

You keep me hanging on, practically pulling me in
Pushing my thoughts out, let me take ahold of you
Grasp my hands, break me down like this
You're the only one I would take a shot on
After all, without us, without this,
We'll be doing these circles in distress
So keep me hanging on, when I'm around you
I'm totally all that you know is right
Your heart says yes, your head says stay tonight
You're everything that excites me
Could this be out of sight, for you to be the only one
I would take a shot on.
Let's push your back onto this cold hard pavement
Remove this barrier of predictability, I'm hoping to
Make this out of line, break you down with
Intertwined fingers and my vulnerable emotions
You're not the only one girl, and you won't be the last
But I'm willing to sail onto the seas, our flag at full mast
The seas rough, tossing, unpredictable.
Like us.

You're a season

The waves of our resistance define our choices. The consequences of our actions are unparalleled. We drift, spiral, vanish, beyond the means of reason. I don't truly like this; I don't like letting go, going slow, pushing my thoughts of you aside. If you just didn't have that silly smile, the one where I pull you in, gravitate, and run my fingers through your hair. Your dark, dark, cold hair.

It's our roots. We stem from issues unresolved, complications, triangulations, pieces of our hearts spinning by day, thriving at night. Talking through issues, skipping work, playing by ear, remember? Calling you on the phone talking until the sky begins to open, with warm shafts of light press down upon us. Your hand that was in mine. These are the days I live for.

Unequal, inconsequential, insatiable, our appetite grows. It's hard to be the better man, when you keep on dying. Let the pale, still, earth glow and let your eyes open to this new season. It is now just a period of life, where we let go of our strife, our delights, moving for the sake of motion. It's such a dangerous business to keep your thick, desolate door open when these winds blow in; who knows what will push through to you. Never give up.

I say this in honesty, repentance, and inspiration. You were the reason for my innovation, in and out. The waves lap against the house, our shaky foundations built on mud. It's hard to be intertwined when the bricks you build with are made of sand, right? Like a lock in a door, a room to a hallway, wheels to a car, pillow to a bed, I still embrace you. Keep your pretty head up and never let go. This is our season.

A Decade Under the Influence

Sweet delicate creases of the folds of your skin
The half closed winter smile, the way your breath creates crystals
That threaten to freeze our thoughts entirely still
Where we're both unsure who has to make a move anymore
These are the times we live for, building rapport
Yet, its a quarter to one and I'm sick of waiting to score

You remember the time we sat in traffic for three hours
And we talked about drinking hot chocolate in front of the fire
Where the greatest flame that leaped represented our hearts
Suffocating, flickering, pulling us apart
You know what they say, you told me
All it takes is a little spark

The snowball and pillow fights make my life
The way you taunt me and go down tonight is so right
Defined, we are the innocence of captivation
Underneath it all, we feel the voices of restraint
Take it slow, take it slow, you say, You're not a Saint
Why should I let us stray once more tonight?

You know when you grin
Your tiny freckles light up all over your chin
And when you push me away I pretend I don't want to stay
You'll pout, and pretend to cry
I'll just pretend to walk right on by
You're a game I just can't deny

A decade under the influence
Ten years that went by so fast
Where the world is colored in a different contrast
When we realize this can't last;
I touch you once, I touch you twice
I won't let go at any price.

The most blunt part of you

Is the way your mouth says no, and your eyes say yes.
How can I say no to something already predetermined before?
Brilliance, luminescence, tumbling
Aftershock, destruction, uncertainty
Reawakening, comfort, unequality
Cascading, enrapturing, terrifying
Spiraling, softly
Falling
For you.

You know that feeling?

You know that feeling when you remember when everything was just so right?
When you didn't want to let go of the love you had that night?
You know that feeling when you felt tingles up your spine reading Goosebumps?
When you just wanted to throw the book down but you couldn't?
You know that feeling when you got a tiny bit scared in Home Alone 1, but by Home Alone 3 you were laughing like crazy?
When you just couldn't pick between what to watch; Wishbone, Where in the World is Carmen San Diego? or The Magic Schoolbus?
You know that feeling when you recorded your first crush and it felt so magical?
When you kept denying that you liked girls, when it was so the opposite?
You know that feeling of super excitement when you got Windows 95 and you played solitaire?
When you thought Sega Genesis wasn't as good as Super Nintendo?
You know that feeling of pure sadness in the Lion King when Mufasa dies?
When you couldn't pick between Aladdin or Beauty and the Beast?
You know that feeling of victory when you'd own at Headsup 7up in class?
When you finished every sentence with "NOT" and a laugh?
You know that feeling of being so content, being so young, and enjoying life outside and not around screens?
When you couldn't wait to go on a Scouts or Girl Guides camping trip?

These are the feelings of great memories.
Where would we be without them?


-Tyler Stunna-

Ursa Minor

I love you.
like the sun crossing the sky,
you're the reason why
I want to take this farther.

I look at you,
like I'm staring right through you,
and I thought you should know
that you're who I pursue.

Today I fell down,
and bruised my shin with your heart
I can't believe how perfect this has been
ever since the very start.

I notice the smoothness of your skin
the way your collarbones meet Polaris
they are the wonderful part of our Ursa Minor
we glitter brighter than ever.

That sudden day
we stopped our communication
intuition and your sudden radiation
it was different, an uncalled aberration.

What glitters is gold I'm told
it seems as of late, we just unfold
its not supposed to be like this
the tide doesn't come in as far.

Remember those days we sat on that log,
our affection just went just so far
starry eyed in that fog I swear!
you''ll make it through, I promise.

I touch you once,
I touch you twice, I won't let go at any price;
I needed you now, like I needed you than
You always said we'd meet again.

The crunching of your steps
we don't see eye to eye
the way you shudder at goodbye
the look over your shoulder
I realize you couldn't be any colder.

-Tyler Stunna-

Passing Thoughts.

I sometimes stare and I recall places and people I had thought I had forgotten. I see images and videos that remind me of a time where I was once enjoying a life I did not totally appreciate. Remember Super Soakers? This for instance brings back memories of lawns, sunny Sundays, and heated competition. I remember writing chalk in the rain, and I will always remember large, almost obnoxious sunglasses that really hid more of one's face than revealed it. I remember the lake, how dark and entrancing it used to be to simply stare at the bottom, imagining you were simply just a creature in a lake of the free. I guess I really enjoyed the boat rides, the farmer's markets, the smell of the sea, the looking down the stairs (what felt like went on forever) on my tummy, the DQ trips with Dad, and the long talks with Mom. I know without the parents I have, and the places I've seen, and the activities I've tried, it wouldn't be possible without my parents. And I love them. My parents are the greatest influence and the great providers in my life. My Mother is easily the most respected person in my life, and without her to keep me in line, I'd literally be Ted Bundy. My Father, who spent so many hours playing road hockey, who took me water skiing, who drove me wherever I had to play hockey, is the greatest Dad I could ever ask for. And I love him.
I thank my parents and my family for the wonderful memories I have enjoyed in my life. I am so proud of my family.

This picture reminds me of my cottage in the Muskoka's. and the Kee, in Bala, which I visit every year =)

-Tyler Stunna-