Passing Thoughts.

I sometimes stare and I recall places and people I had thought I had forgotten. I see images and videos that remind me of a time where I was once enjoying a life I did not totally appreciate. Remember Super Soakers? This for instance brings back memories of lawns, sunny Sundays, and heated competition. I remember writing chalk in the rain, and I will always remember large, almost obnoxious sunglasses that really hid more of one's face than revealed it. I remember the lake, how dark and entrancing it used to be to simply stare at the bottom, imagining you were simply just a creature in a lake of the free. I guess I really enjoyed the boat rides, the farmer's markets, the smell of the sea, the looking down the stairs (what felt like went on forever) on my tummy, the DQ trips with Dad, and the long talks with Mom. I know without the parents I have, and the places I've seen, and the activities I've tried, it wouldn't be possible without my parents. And I love them. My parents are the greatest influence and the great providers in my life. My Mother is easily the most respected person in my life, and without her to keep me in line, I'd literally be Ted Bundy. My Father, who spent so many hours playing road hockey, who took me water skiing, who drove me wherever I had to play hockey, is the greatest Dad I could ever ask for. And I love him.
I thank my parents and my family for the wonderful memories I have enjoyed in my life. I am so proud of my family.

This picture reminds me of my cottage in the Muskoka's. and the Kee, in Bala, which I visit every year =)

-Tyler Stunna-

Jaded Contemplations

I vaguely glanced at a Time magazine as I patiently waited in the lobby. The nervous ticking of the elegant wall clock behind me indirectly interrupted my hurried thoughts, as I dictated the tapping of my knees in rhythm to a monotonous Sheryl Crow song. I glanced about the room in consternation; I frankly could not understand the rationale of a combining waiting room full of unhealthy, obviously ill fools and myself, who was healthy, fit, and in a hurry. The secondhand of the faded clock shrewdly pointed south, and the time expanse of which I had was deftly escaping. It is worth noting that this waiting room was a particularly sparsely populated room; in my immediate vicinity there were probably about a dozen people, certainly no fewer than 8 or 9, chatting in twos or threes.

I looked calmly around the plainly decorated and neutral coloured room and stared. Yes my knee ached, yes I was due for a checkup, and yes I clearly wanted to leave this uninviting, rather depressing facility. Suddenly, a glint of golden light sharply hit my iris, surprising me. I searched to find the object of refraction. I looked up and to the right, and what I saw caused my consistent knee jerk to swiftly discontinue. A gorgeous, raven haired girl sat behind the receptionist's desk. Her thin figure fit her relatively curvaceous frame that subtly gave slight undertones for what she contained. Her golden chain fit nicely under neck, and revealed a tanned complexion. I was in shock. I ignored the wondrous sight before my eyes and planted my eyes on the clock, feeling my cheeks burn with intense warmth from what I surely knew was her derisive glance at me.

As I realized my appointment time had expired with already a quarter of an hour ago, I politely approached the vast front desk and asked the receptionist a question.
"My appointment time was fifteen minutes ago I believe. I really have an urgent appointment to make right after."
Her eyelashes clearly flickered twice, and she replied in remarkably suave and bland (and was it cold?) tone;
"I realize this, Mr. Smith, but we're experiencing delays with a few patients. I'm sorry about this--
I calmly interrupted her and said, "I'd love to be looked at on time for a change, but no worries."
With the same fashionable, authoritative voice, she replied, "Would you like to postpone this appointment? We can do this free of charge."

I stared at her. She suddenly appeared as if to change in front of my eyes. The cold, bland stare seemed to disappear- if only for a moment, and it was replaced by a teasing, erotic smile which initiated a firestorm in my loins. I hesitated.
"Would you be able to contact me personally if you can find me an available appointment?"
She smiled warmly.
"Of course, Mr. Smith. Can I have your mobile telephone number?"
I smiled, steadily, here we go, take it easy. Leaning in, I whispered my number. She pretended to ignore the beautiful attraction that was occurring between us.
"I'll let you know when we can re-schedule Mr. Smith. Thank you for coming today." She smiled warmly at me. I smiled warmly back. I turned to leave and I saw her leaning away. I was puzzled. She was giving her number to a new girl entering the room. SHE CAN'T BE!

I stepped backwards, still watching this scene unfold from beneath my eyes. She handed my portfolio and contact papers to this new receptionist who was sitting her large, untoned body into the seat where Ms. Gracefulsexy had just sat. NO IT CAN'T BE HAPPENING. She started to laugh softly and bid adieu to the new receptionist. I took another few steps backwards, blindly one foot behind the other, in pure consternation. I couldn't believe this. I felt betrayed, shot through the heart.

My back hit the door with a resounding thud. My heart was beating too fast, my capillaries in my heart were about to explode. The arteries were clogged from my two Quarter pounders I had at lunch and I couldn't breathe... I reached my car in agony. I punched the steering wheel in pure desperation, WHY WOULDN'T she call me? As I pulled out of the lot, dropping the clutch in my car, my cell phone rang. I stopped my car, and looked at the caller ID. It was Dr. Chow's office! She WAS PHONING ME BACK!
"Mr. Smith, its Katherine from Dr. Chow's office, I'm calling to re-book an appointment."
It was not her, it was not my lover, and I was broken.
I hung up, jaded from women, once again.

-Tyler Stunna-

How Do I Handle Myself?

Often, the most difficult challenges we face seem much worse than what they actually are. We often face preconceived notions from others that are unfair, or we face adverse objections from friends closest to us, or we eventually are betrayed by our own weaknesses. As a result, the feeling of dread (and in some cases, a loss of sanity) may occur, revealing a character streak that put bluntly, should have stayed hidden.
you don't really know someone until you seem them angry.
I reflect on my own behavior and the choices I make when I'm particularly challenged or upset. Am I saying things that hurt others? Am I letting others down by placing blame on someone other than myself when I am the one responsible for my mistake?
Now before this note heads into a quick stop in Sceneville, I must give myself a warning. When things grow out of my control, how do I handle myself? I ask myself this question and the famous Soviet cosmonaut, Valentin Lebedev, reminds me of the answer. Lebedev spent 211 days aboard the Salyut 7 space station, and the diary he kept became a cautionary tale. Depression and anxiety were constant reminders of how lonely he was and how frustrated he was becoming without human contact. In the same way, when you're in a strange environment like Lebedev, or when you face challenges that you feel you cannot deal with, do you lash out, or as Lebedev, "begin to count the days" until you can leave your situation or avoid your challenge altogether?
Hey, just some things to think about.

-Tyler Stunna-