For the Moment.

It's a quarter past 1
The room's spinning, grabbing you up like this is dangerous
The last time in a while for us to be so serial,
Hold on, we're already charged, guilty is our verdict
Why's my keys, cell, your number
On the floor, where's that party at, babe?
Wish I could stop my p-p-p-playful way,
Play it once, I'll play you twice

Just make the ground shake, dee jay
Let's feel this wave crash over me
Just let it out tonight
Yeah we'll be fine

You drop that bottle, splashing your dress
That girl is swimming in the empty bathtub, what,
Tangle me up right in your long hair
I won't resist
That girl was in my arms last night, sorry I
Forgot to call you back, my mind was
D-d-d-dizzy
(Take it slow)

Take us to the floor, hold my drink dear
I'm about to break you down, no need for tears
Concentrate, dance, spin that record babe
Hold this, we'll be alright, shake

Let's dance and pretend this is the last day to exist
Pretend this sexual tension between us will
Cease and desist, yeah
Hold on tight, you see girl, I'm no player
Even if ten minutes from now, I'll see you later

Just make the ground shake, dee jay
Let's feel this wave crash over me
Just let it out tonight
Yeah we'll be alright

'Cause you're a criminal as long as your mine

Speak softly.
Tread through my head loudly.

Falling leaves.

The leaves shiver and shake,
Rattling together.
They flutter gracefully, soaring, catching an updraft,
Before gently grazing the cold, hard ground.
What strikes me the most, is how they leave their branches
To fall.
Just like I fall, fall,
Falling
For you.

your song on the radio.

It starts slow and than the bridge begins to build to the chorus, thoughts soaring in my head.
My neck begins to crease, my eyes begin to light up
And I gently turn up the volume of the stereo

I'm struck suddenly; the hairs on my neck stand on end and I feel weak
After all, sometimes it's the strongest memories from such a simple song that
Are caught beneath the landslide of life
You forget about these things and you let it go,
Slide, drain, empty from inside you
But still, there's a faint residue of remembrance of what used to be
Of phone calls at five in the morning
Sleeping in, sending texts you always wanted to save
Thinking of our demise makes me sick, and I think you should know,
No one has ever felt the way I felt about you

It hurts to think,
It's a little impossible to keep on this drive
And worse, I wish I never turned on the radio
Sometimes I wish it was just you and I, summer of 05

Some day you will find me
I know you will find me
After all, you knew me best
And you tried to hold on better than the rest

Writing the end

This wasn't the shit I signed up for when we went out
when I walk in, let's grab those cubes and throw them in a glass
don't stop, make it rock,
feel this, rush this pulse,
because there's no fear in the world that can separate us
especially when your mouth is around that bottle of Jack
don't stop, make it rock
tonight we're going to not fight, play these games
dig your three inch heels into the carpet
don't stop, make it rock
push me down, away, shit we can do this any day
don't need to fight, why make it right when we can drink all night?
No care in the world when you're here
we've got more class than the Queen on acid
crack, crack, crack, you hear that?
it's the sound of us breaking apart,
foundations cracking

pieces of our puzzle.

This has got to be over my head
everyone knows when you can't keep up to expectations
family pressures, alcohol induced seizures, failing exam marks
constant sickness, your vanity greater than mine, congratulations
girls that can't and won't put up with the disengaging of my heart
this can't be a change from the start.

It was the beginning of how things always were,
let's now reflect and allow our minds to wander
it's the teas on a warm evening.
its the hugs that make me feel that I matter.
its the dinner dates and drives, drive-thru's and dancing.
in the laughter in their eyes that can melt a coal heart.
movie nights while holding hands.
guitar strings ringing at 3 am.

You know what's the craziest feeling? No matter what happens I'm here for that someone.

I guess through metaphors, I am trying to tell someone I love them.
without the pieces, the puzzle is just...pieces.
and would you believe it? I feel complete.
life is too short to always be rushing us through.

(credit to Lisa-Marie Hasiuk for most of this)

Speaking from the other side of the heart

Every feeling that we get
When you're home alone, with your worst thoughts on your mind
When you can't miss anyone anymore
And when your thoughts can't seem to look up
After every hit we take
Every personal insult we laugh off and try to shake
The very people you smile at, but wish left your life
They hurt

This isn't supposed to be pretty or creative writing
It's simply powerful and expresses the bitterness we feel
You know that crazy feeling that just builds and builds
That gives you a rush of pure anxiety and is deep within you
The one where you want to lash out because of the hurt they caused you
I know that feeling, we all have that feeling
Why don't we let our thoughts for once, have meaning?
You hurt.

Forgetting how good I've got it

Actions speak louder than words. Destiny; you forgot about me.
Predictable? All my vanity has been lost.
I want to make you feel all right, hold you through the dark tonight.
Opinionated point of view, you live to push me away from you.
I want to make it feel all right.
The end of the world looks just like the beginning.

Stepping forward.

The sun beats down fiercely on my back.
My hands have already dried, leaving a gritty feeling of dried salt on my fingers.
Your hands are completely flat while you casually lie on your front, soaking up the deep rays.
My eyes start to droop, and my head begins to feel weighted down with rocks. I fall fast asleep, allowing the warm Mediterranean air to wash over me, peaking at a crescendo of a perfect sleep.

Cold water droplets on my back awakes me, freezing the very hair on my neck, passing frigid chills all the way down my body. I roll over quickly and attempt to bury my back in the sun blanket, all the while slowly opening my eyes. You're so gorgeous that I can't help but stare. My lips curl slowly into a wide smile and I squint, gently, as the fading light (already dusk? I wonder) reaches my peripheral vision. You look so happy, your long dark hair falls naturally from your shoulders and curls down beautifully over your neck, matching your tanned skin and that cute necklace I've always loved. We hold contact and you slowly position your lips on mine, held there in this expanse of meaningless time. I reach to touch you, to let you know you I'm awake, but you laugh at me, and forcefully grab my arm and attempt to pull me to my feet. Cute is what you aim for, and you're hitting it like you just can't miss.
"Time to swim, sleepy boy."

I glance at the water, foreboding, dark and churning, and I slightly shudder. I wish I could go back to my warmth. That's what happens when you fall asleep dreaming of her. Reaching back I grab your hand, tightly, and we wade into the water.
I let the waves lap at the bottom of my swim trunks, debating whether I can survive these temperatures. You are already up to your chest and you turn to face me, your face aglow in the pink sky.
"Come hereeee" you call.
I'm about to wade forward, but....
I gaze towards you, and realize this is the step I've been meaning to take for a while now. That step. The one where you're all I want.
I wade forward.
Perfect.

Making my life

"I'm so excited about us"
(L)

Writing in a storm

The loudest sound that completely fills my eardrums is the sound of rustling trees.
The distant roar of thunder and the rising crescendo of lightning claps wash over me, clearing my senses
The pine branches scratching each other drown out the low howl of the wind surrounding us, replacing our thoughts.
The ever-darkening sky begins to change from a translucent grey to a dark charcoal; deep clouds begin to form in place of the vanishing sunlight
You're slightly nervous, and look mildly out of place, maybe because you're not yet in my arms.
I smile, and slowly place my arm around you, and watch as both of us relax, reassured by the content expressions shared on each of our faces
Rain drips, drips, and suddenly rushes explosively out of the drainpipe, which reminds me of my own circumstances in life.
Just like rain drops, we bond, form relationships, and face decisions.
We often face challenging conflicts, but how do we eventually deal with these situations?
Like rain drops, do we escape and slide down a pipe, or do we face reality and fight for resolution?
I leaned closer and pulled her close, her soft skin inviting my further touch, her beautiful eyes slightly lighting up as we turn towards each other.
I'm not running away from this one, I thought, she's so worth fighting for.

Thinking Out Loud

I'm out with friends, walking around campus like always
When I see you in the same old place, you brush right past me in that hallway
I fake a smile so you won't see
But everything is tearing up inside of me

Feelings rush back to haunt my memories
What I've done is hard for even me to believe
I hope you've been able to at least sleep well at night
Because I've never been able to get past the part where I used to hold you tight

The longest shadows ever cast were from my fall onto the floor
When I used to be your boy, the person who made your life before
Held your dreams up with the guidance of a star in the dark
You're the girl I would talk about for days since our very first spark

You walk past me, so elegantly
Can you tell I can barely breathe?
You look past me with those gorgeous eyes that take my breath away
Your warm smile is gone and the affections we used to display

The longest shadows ever cast were from my fall onto the floor
When I used to be your boy, the person who made your life before
Held your dreams up with the guidance of a star in the dark
You're the girl I would talk about for days since our very first spark

You were right, she wasn't worth it
I think long and hard of why I couldn't commit
You were so perfect even with a broken heart
Your new boy had better treat you right from the start

I close my wallet and my picture of you
Maybe I'll be able to sleep a whole night through
You were all I needed to fall into ...

My eyes blur as I stare right through the piercing darkness.

Trains.

Click-clack click-clack, we speed down the track.
We lean back, our hands folded together, our eyes near, searching.
We wander.
The pull of your glowing eyes draws your knees beside my own, colliding gently.
You grin, sheepishly, a faint ember of a smile that lights up each side of your face, creating a gentle laugh.
A passenger across from us shoots a look at us, betraying distaste at our obvious sparks of attraction.
The whirring of the train and the blurring of the lights we pass are perfect.
Suspended time. In a train car. With you.

Move for me

I truly feel rested and prepared for what is ahead. My nerves have settled.
Move for me. I'll move for you.
DJ, turn the lights down, let the speakers flow their sound.
It's a sight that should always be repeated. Tangled arms, interwoven features, no chance for escape.
The stars have never shone so bright.
I hold this moment, clenched teeth erase a betraying of my own fear, substanceless.
I feel every junction of your body pulsing subsequently in time with my own.
The greatest part of your being is your ability to throw me haphazardly, into you so deeply.
Spiraling into an abyss. Locked in a dungeon. Encaged by your legs and fingers.
There's a specific beauty to your collarbones, a sharp point of contention, rising from the depths of your skin
It is you, that drives my soul, where I lose control.

This says so much more than I could ever say

watch and just go write.
perfect.

Suddenly

Suddenly I'm not sure anymore
If I want this to be what I thought anymore
Now isn't the time to think change, it's to pull myself closer
Early as this may be, the clouds are only getting darker
After it's all said and done, will I still be the one
Daring to pull away after coming this close?

This feeling

Talk to me
Talk to me, tell me what you're feeling

It's not what I'm feeling, its what I'm remembering
Spoken rhythm emphasized by the way my name rolls off your tongue
The eyes that hold, shrivel, and decompose
Bitter words, broken trust
Let's take that drink and make tonight that night
Like where we were together back in May,
Easy go, free Monday through Friday
When you were the one that laid close to me

We touched for that very first time there
The scent of a Friday night, early dusk, a little fright
Holding hands for the very first time under the streetlight
In love with this moment, swayed by this feeling
Swirling, wrapping you up, grabbing on to your heart
Pulling you down, now, there, goodbye

Do you ever feel like the one?
Drinking by the stairs under the fading sun
Drinking for two, reduced by one
Wake up, coffee and juice,
Remembering you, what happened to you
I don't know where we are going now
I don't know where we are going now
You made me feel like the one.

Let's take this.

Hold this and never let go.
"youre so foreign (L) it's cute"

My life

Malaga, Spain

The faint roar of crashing waves rolling in matches the aura of the fresh, salty air. I lightly tread to the end of the veranda, my brow tightened slightly, my eyes squinting in the bright light of the early dawn. As one other hand pulled my drink closer to my mouth, the other gripped the pen upon which I was to write.
"Commitment is a large undertaking for man, my querito", I began to write. I glanced below and saw the sun in it's full entirety, break through the open sky, a deep lasting fire. Following what it does, everyday, a predictable routine, same old same old. What I'm so afraid of.
I looked up, as I gently allowed my pen to fall from my clenched fingers, and it rushed downwards, loudly landing on the wood boards below. It fell, rushed, out of my grasp, just like you with me, I thought. I stared at the writing instrument, blankly, my mind wandering, sifting through thoughts as murky as swirling storm drains...Where's the storm in our lives? I decided to write later, maybe when the weather is more unpredictable .

7 days Later
Milan, Italy

She pulls me close. Her incredibly dark hair is so... so.. Invigorating, attractive, exotic. The curl of her Italian lips invites my touch, her features desiring mine.
The beautiful shops below have stopped their hustle and flow, and are only a faint murmur in the ever so near distance. Our conversation we've had since we met at the pool has carried on, her lingering voice wavering slightly like smoke in the dusky air. The chair I sit on feels weak, sweaty, as if I could fall through these weaved patterns, ruining this moment.
She smiles, and politely asks me in broken English to step closer. We're on a terrace overlooking a small vineyard of ruby tomatoes and a smattering of olive trees. The air is rich, heavy in heat and feeling. Her cheeks are flushed, a dark rouge, complimenting the fallibility within her eyes. The glowing of the red lantern to our right flickers, once, twice, before it reignites, mimicking my own heart rate. That feeling where the air stops, our faces begin to slant down, and our feet won't touch the ground wash over me. Her tall, beautiful frame is everything I need. Man desires this.
We lean in. But I know this isn't right, isn't what I want, and isn't best for me. I gently pull away and whisper to her 'I'm sorry."
I give pace to a faster step and leave her in disbelief.

14 days Later
Toronto, Canada

I spin. I see her, the real girl for me. I hold her. We fade, casting our cares to the stars, like comets on summer nights. My shivers make me sigh. My sighs make your mouth curl into a smile. Undefinable, perfect, stable. Commitment foreseeable.

The Window.

I can't write anymore.

It feels like no matter what I think sounds the same.

Darken your room.

"I'm afraid there's a hole in my brain.
The type where you can see through, expose your soul too.
This is visionary, just like the way I say your feelings out loud, is scary."

As I write these words, a small fragment of inspiration crosses my brain. It's a creasing thought that winds its way down, chilling my innermost thoughts.
For every element that I add to my personality, I develop a new line of thought – I become more aware. From gas, I turn into vapor and from vapor I turn into a solid block of what I want to be. But that’s not inspiration, that’s self-improvement and that’s a human instinct – which is to evolve. This can't be inspiration.

Possibly, I'm so unconsciously aware of my own inspiration, my own efforts, my resolve to dedicate myself to certain tasks or goals. Is it necessary that for my thoughts to be yet so opaque to myself, but so clear to others? Do I allow myself the reasonable amount of proper justification for my own actions? I understand that for an action to occur, there must be an inspiration, a type of thought to take place that instigates my action.

Now, back to my thoughts in my head;

"I said we'll run until the sun burns out
Until our eyes no longer blink,
Who wants to run until the sun burns out
Until the shades are pulled dark
Where the red spots under our eyes lie about the other times
When the weight of your skin is more than the weight you pull with your mouth
Close those blinds, they don't lie
After all, what you can't see, you can't deny
Darken your room, shut me out, consume me."

The shallows.

Wind chimes sound in the distance, resonating through the cool air. The sun, with its faint rays settling in the distance, slightly illuminated the murky, shallow water. A cold breeze rustled across the water and lightly caused her hair to stand on end; I was wearing more clothes than her. This lake we were on was largely a great sandbar, the deepest part of this great expanse was 20 feet in the middle; how aberrant and unfamiliar it looked at night, unable to see to the bottom. The darkness of the water stared right back at me, it was as if God had taken a great brush and had swept the surface with a depressing black, as if it were a polluted oil which had oppressively taken over this shallow, empty lake. She turned to look at me, her hair gracefully tumbling over her shoulders, and her dark brown eyes catching mine, holding contact, holding her emotions inside her. This wasn't like we imagined it would be like. A sharp crackle appeared behind us. I slowly craned my neck and looked behind us. The pools of darkness behind us made it indistinguishable to see physical shapes at all. She spoke, softly, but with great meaning, "Are you sure this is what you want?"
I looked back down at the dock, admiring the creaking, sagging, and weatherbeaten boards. It was like us, taking a lot of stress, holding to the breaking point, but still putting up, shutting up, making it work. It wasn't that I had no feelings for her, after all, one glance at her features would make a normal man a babbling, awkward fool, it was just ...
She touched my hand, and spoke again, "Are you alright?" I finally mobilized myself to completely face her. With the fading light, I could barely make out her face. Her tanned skin and excessively white teeth seemed so vain to me at this moment. Her slim, tall frame looked as if it had been folded, and her knees were at her chest, resting, waiting, commiserating for her. I replied. "I'm alright." She looked away, her dark hair fleeing me, her face betraying her fear, of losing me.
My thoughts ran, escaped my mind. Back to how we'd first met each other, how we'd began to be great friends before we began to be lovers. How intertwined our lives were, where her hand was in mine whenever we were together. It's unfortunate how a span of events began to spiral, twist and lead to places we could never have foreseen, ever. The chill of the air began to set in on us hard. She moved closer, her hand resting near mine, her fingers gripped tightly together. When she told me she wanted me forever, I began to pull away. After all, we're too young, I'm way too dumb, and this won't last forever... was I really "too legit too commit"?
I looked over and swept her dark hair away, it felt so good to touch her.
"I don't know where this is going," I said.
She looked down for a while. I tilted her chin up, her eyes searching, peering, and intruding my space, breaking me down like I am helpless and there is nothing else.
"Forget where we should have left off," she whispered, her voice wavering, flickering at the end of her sentence.
I lightly grabbed her arm, as she resisted, and began to pull away, her beautiful lips not trembling, but her face creasing in hurt.
"Stop this," I proclaimed, my voice echoing harshly over the water.
I couldn't do this, and I can't walk away, when she cares so much about me.
The water, as beautiful as it was, is based on a shallow, a superficial foundation, just like me.
I push away those who get too close to me, was it out of fear, or a lack of commitment? Or worse, was it because I couldn't trust those who want to know me best?
I looked at her, closed my eyes, and drew her in. I want this girl.
She deserved someone so much better.

Fantasy

It's you and me
Tantalizing, arousing, spinning
Illustrative, enraptured, cognoscenti
Whirling, staggering, equanimity
The weight of your heart on my shoulders.
Dreaming, swirling, tempting,
Contumaciously we hold this.
Unanticipated, breathtaking, unforeseen
Desultory, overwhelming, captivating
We deliquesce.

Unpredictable seas.

You keep me hanging on, practically pulling me in
Pushing my thoughts out, let me take ahold of you
Grasp my hands, break me down like this
You're the only one I would take a shot on
After all, without us, without this,
We'll be doing these circles in distress
So keep me hanging on, when I'm around you
I'm totally all that you know is right
Your heart says yes, your head says stay tonight
You're everything that excites me
Could this be out of sight, for you to be the only one
I would take a shot on.
Let's push your back onto this cold hard pavement
Remove this barrier of predictability, I'm hoping to
Make this out of line, break you down with
Intertwined fingers and my vulnerable emotions
You're not the only one girl, and you won't be the last
But I'm willing to sail onto the seas, our flag at full mast
The seas rough, tossing, unpredictable.
Like us.

The Ropes

She stares out through the pane of glass
It’s hard to see when it’s blurring
Outside the sky is clear, the sun is dying
Her boyfriend is now unknown
He’s got her best friend on the phone
His dirty clothes, or all the names he calls her
The greatest part of him is how they once were
When everything now is about him, things about her don't matter
There's nothing to be said to change that part
Except when he calls her, he resists her heart

It's 11pm on a Friday night, she's dressed to kill
Everything the boys want, the girls will admire
He's going to leave her, retire for the night
He’s got her best friend that’s just right
I smile after she comes over,
She sees me lying next to her awake, eyes half shut
But totally afraid, repenting for what
We both know is going to take place
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Nothing you say can stop her from going home

It's a quarter to six, with words I thought I'd never speak
You pull that sheet close
The light makes our eyes weak
She’s fading, along with her hopes
Hanging on the ropes
He doesn't know anything about her

Raindrop Trails

A man needs his element
That is, the decompression of his desires and identity
An explosion consisting of decisions, thoughts, and dreams
The unexplainable tabula rasa experiences that man seeks to discover
Resulting in definitive thesis that man was all born without emotion
Incapable of any thoughtful nature

Rain presses its undefinable shape deep into the pane
The glossy figures swerve and slide their way
Down, down, into the drain
The trail marks left behind speak of a voyage that has never
Been experienced, endured, or studied
It's the same way with a man's thoughts,
The tragic conditioning of a torrential waterfall
Of emotions, tears, feelings and the cure for

This wind is cold to the man
It's a breeze that chills to the core
Vulnerable and resistant to feelings you abhor
It's so much easier to ignore than to restore
Why change attitudes or behaviors when yes sir, you'll take one more
On the rocks, keep your heart locked,
Let that breeze roll in, you see that star?
It's not shining for you anymore

The dripping of water, the eyes pressed to the glass
The hot smudge of breath creates a whirling, damp, fog
The chills on the neck and the memories from the moon's trek
Across the smolten sky, now begin to illuminate a shadow of the room
It's as if fears resemble empty space in life
Scampering, winding, transposing themselves beyond all identity
Pull that coat close sir, pull it tight
The ache in your throat, it's alright

Sweating palms

Remember the times at night in the truck when the air stopped
Negative emotions, trembling motions, the roar in my ears was like an ocean
Taking this drive slow wherever we go, Summertime by the New Kids on the Block
I pull myself closer to her and begin to put this in forward motion,
I gently feel you push away, my cheeks light up like a cinder rock
You continue to smile while you resist me, it stings with a shock

I stare above her and fall back into my seat, this space is too cramped
The summer heat and the gentle beat matches the shadows on the pavement
I'll try once more, I want you, I want this now, our date is stamped
She's not just the flavor of the week, I want this girl to stay
She won't put her trust into someone that might use her
I wish I could make this girl see, I don't want her to be another blur

It's a Saturday night and she's all alone and yet I'm a million miles away . . .

Models, The Top 5 in the World !

As many of you know, I love fashion .. and models. I don't think anything is more perfect than a girl who looks stunning wearing a piece of fashion that either makes a statement, or compliments her. I love tall, thin, gorgeous girls; they are amazing to me. So here's a list of the top 5 models in the world, in the order in which I believe they should be placed in. This is definitely an unofficial list, and it's totally subjective, so I'll write a little piece on each woman and what I admire about them.

#5 Heidi Klum
She’s probably one of the most famous supermodel’s in the world. She does it all, I find her look incredibly attractive. Oh and she’s 35 ! What a beauty, I especially love her beach photos. She is aging incredibly.




#4 Alessandra Ambrosio
Her best known collaboration is with American lingerie brand Victoria's Secret. And hey, I’ve always been an Angels fan =) Only three months after giving birth to her first child, Ambrosio appeared in the Victoria's Secret fashion show 2008. Now that is what I call a picture perfect woman. She loves surfing, seeing bands, and still calls Brazil her favorite place in the world (and having traveled the world has not yet convinced her otherwise). She’s a beauty, and her 5’10 frame is flawless.







#3 Karolina Kurkova
In November 2008, E! Entertainment Television voted her the world's sexiest woman, beating the likes of Angelina Jolie, Scarlett Johansson, Gisele Bündchen, and her fellow Angels Heidi Klum and Adriana Lima. I may disagree on the last one (Adriana Lima is unreal), Kurková is among the world's top-earning models, having earned an estimated $5 million in the year 2007, and she’ll continue to keep making ridiculous money. As a child, her height made her relatively awkward and gangly, but that would all change with age.. isn’t that how it goes for all the gorgeous women? She’s the most gorgeous girl in a long while to come from the Czech Republic.







#2 Adriana Lima
Adriana Lima never thought about being a model, although she had won many beauty pageants in elementary school. Than she decided to enter after a friend wanted to enter a contest, and didn’t want to enter alone. The world owes her friend, big time. My number two because of her look, she’s not afraid to flaunt it, and 5’10 frame matches her gorgeous face. I love how she’s helping with an orphanage, "Caminhos da Luz", and is the world’s least selfish model. Unreal.







#1 Gisele Bundchen
"I really don't feel like that word ["supermodel"]. It doesn't resonate for me. It doesn't define me. As long as I'm a good person and I do things from the heart, that's all that matters."
She’s a Brazilian supermodel, most noted for being one of the original Victoria's Secret Angels and one of the world's premiere high-fashion models. That’s all I need to hear, my number one, and she’s been my favorite for a long time. Not only is she the sixteenth richest woman in the entertainment world, but her fortune is worth $150 US million. There’s a reason behind the madness though. She’s absolutely stunning, and has worked hard to be the face of more than 20 brands internationally and has appeared on over 500 magazine covers. You think a camera flash even phases her? Her Valentino ad is remarkable… what a gorgeous picture. But I think her stunning picture of her in black and white by Arena magazine (pictured below) topples everything.. Her dress matches the shadows so well, and her posture is brilliant. Oh and she’s 5’11 =)






simply stunning.

We're singing

Our voice is the loudest in these groves
Heavy with the sense of resentment
We used to be so much different
When I started, you knew that I always meant it
I knew I could make a difference
We started to see it's only a matter of time

Words appeared on my page
Faster than I could pull us away
And I knew this, I knew it
But watch you ruin it
The sparkling spotlight, the focus
The feelings, the preparation of stage
Don't say you are ready to turn the page

So now this book has been written
Our pages have been read,
All we have to say is time goes on
Time no longer means anything
Days and hours on the road on this stray light
It didn't mean anything, nothing at all.

Last Call

The stars are the reflections of our dreams in your eyes
The way I look once, twice, you're my prize
Long drives, loud music, easy smiles
Who knew that we'd face numerous trials
I'm the proudest man living in this place
There's no other girl I would replace
I've got the girl that my 911 can't compete with
It's like its always December twenty-fifth
Repressed, tantalizing, insatiable.

Shivers up my spine crease the thoughts of my world
What I wouldn't do to make you my girl forever
Candlelight dinners, walks down the pier
It's the way you look at me, that twirl in front of my mirror
The slinky looks, sensational sense of humor
This hot and cold attitude, dreams of better days
What happened to that girl that sent me into a craze?
We're stripped, twisted, ripped away.

We make up, we get up, we let up
We're unstable, uneven, unsure
Unrepentant, unreal, insecure?
Its the three am calls, the amounts of texts
Double checks, games, girls on my cellphone
What am I doing? Where are we going?

Hands on my neck, feet on my waist
You're so pretty when you're disgraced
Its a shame to have to chalk this fall from grace
To arrive from a lie, only then we started to erase
Not being able to reach you, half truths
This is not what I asked for, not what I fell for
When you burn this perfect picture, see the door
I fold, bend, crumple through and through.

Giving it up hurts the most
Our conversation is as if talking with ghosts
Plenty of hurt inside, realizing we came that close
Rejection once again has paid its toll
And for a long while, there will be that hollow hole
To the streets, to the grass
I clasp our hands and we both laugh
Enough is enough, let us run.

You're a season

The waves of our resistance define our choices. The consequences of our actions are unparalleled. We drift, spiral, vanish, beyond the means of reason. I don't truly like this; I don't like letting go, going slow, pushing my thoughts of you aside. If you just didn't have that silly smile, the one where I pull you in, gravitate, and run my fingers through your hair. Your dark, dark, cold hair.

It's our roots. We stem from issues unresolved, complications, triangulations, pieces of our hearts spinning by day, thriving at night. Talking through issues, skipping work, playing by ear, remember? Calling you on the phone talking until the sky begins to open, with warm shafts of light press down upon us. Your hand that was in mine. These are the days I live for.

Unequal, inconsequential, insatiable, our appetite grows. It's hard to be the better man, when you keep on dying. Let the pale, still, earth glow and let your eyes open to this new season. It is now just a period of life, where we let go of our strife, our delights, moving for the sake of motion. It's such a dangerous business to keep your thick, desolate door open when these winds blow in; who knows what will push through to you. Never give up.

I say this in honesty, repentance, and inspiration. You were the reason for my innovation, in and out. The waves lap against the house, our shaky foundations built on mud. It's hard to be intertwined when the bricks you build with are made of sand, right? Like a lock in a door, a room to a hallway, wheels to a car, pillow to a bed, I still embrace you. Keep your pretty head up and never let go. This is our season.

Defence of the United States

Too many times I hear friends and people talk about how the United States is a state which controls the affairs of other countries way too much, gets way too involved, and generally, intervenes in situations which are none of its 'business.' The primary example I hear, from friends, MTV, MSNBC, the media, is the War in Iraq. The United States, this conglomerate of media believes, has an agenda in which the 'supreme authority of the United States' overrules the rights and decisions of the state/country in which they are involved in, by simply being arrogant and insisting on the 'American way' in any and all situations. They believe the United State arrogantly interferes in the affairs of countries and their situations, even crises' that it has no business in. They believe the United Nations or the country(s) involved, should simply deal with their own problems.

I completely would disagree. I don't believe the United States has been active enough in the international stage until as of recently. in August 1992, it was U.S. President George H. W. Bush who announced that U.S. military transports would support the multinational UN relief effort in Somalia to deal with the massive starvation and food issues. Meddling with international affairs other then its own? I would think not. We all know what happened from here; in 1993 the disastrous and yet heroic Battle of Mogadishu occurred, and after the dust cleared, newly elected President Bill Clinton pulled all forces from Somalian soil completely (by 1995). Under a Democratic President, the United States refused to intervene in several situations that occurred throughout the world. Too many people around the world complain and place blame on the United States for not being involved in conflicts such as the Rwandan Genocide, the mass murder of an estimated 800,000 to 1,071,000 ethnic Tutsis and moderate Hutus by Hutu militia groups in Rwanda in 1994. However, if the United States had fought in Rwanda with fellow United Nations peacekeepers, chances are, after a couple years of fighting, approval ratings for the conflict would be tanking like a new TV show starring Rosie O'Donnell. Thus, we would begin to hear the whiners, arguing that the United States is greatly involved in affairs which are not peripherally related to the supreme national interests of its country. In the USA, you can't win for losing.

There is still more examples. President Clinton also refused to mobilize U.S. ground troops in fighting the Bosnian Serb Army in Bosnia and Herzegovina in 1995 and the Yugoslav Army in the Federal Republic of Yugoslavia (specifically, the province of Kosovo) in 1999. All of these conflicts which resulted in thousands and thousands of civilians deaths were basically ignored by the US, which focused less on a preemptive foreign policy active in the Third World. Yet I hear people still argue that the United States meddles way too much in affairs of way too many nations... I truly do not see the basis for this argument.
Thus when U.S. President George W. Bush retaliated after 9/11 with the invasion of Afghanistan, he was more then just 'meddling in the affairs' of other countries that had nothing to do with 9/11 (as my friends argue). He was responding directly to the attacks on the United States, and the terrorist training camps for Al-Qaeda that were being created there.

To conclude, the War in Iraq, the War in Afghanistan are just that, war. Afghanistan is a large mess, resurgence of the Taliban has been devastating to Canadian and American soldiers. However, in many parts of the country, women now no longer live under law that prevents covering their skin, and Afghani's now have the ability to live in a semi-democracy, rather then a Taliban regime. The United States is there for a reason, albeit the War in Iraq was based on false information; but essentially, they have been able to help encourage democracy and freedom in the Middle East. The fact that Saddam Hussein will no longer mass murder Kurds with gas, the ability for people of the country of Iraq to have freedoms and rights, and the fact that millions of Iraqi's can now vote democratically is simply astounding. The media which surrounds us loves to portray the War in Iraq and the sacrifices the United States has made for the sake of freedom as useless, exaggerated, and not worth the high cost. And to an extent they are right; war is the ultimate consequence. Let us not forget the extent to which we pay for our own freedoms. God Bless America and God Bless Canada.

Sway Tonight

Shadows dance, spin, and spiral across
The streets, the movement of the sun fading away reveals a horizon
So unpredictably amber; its as if God has stroked a magical brush
Through the landscape and tracing the outline of the stars in the sky
The glow of our city, blended with heat make us wish we could fly
The dimming sun is setting and we begin sweating
Relax, relax, let the senses of your reflexes act.

We drive in silence, in pure unattainable lust,
Agony, excitement, this is such a rush
Our fingers intertwined, the streetlights pave our way
The look of desire on your face is all you betray
It's hard to drive straight when I'm in such disarray
The wave of heat fills this space and I let out a smile
I'm keeping this heat trapped, never letting you go
It's so hard to drive when you won't go slow...

I watch the kiss and it turns me on
It makes me feel as though I am helpless and there is nothing else
I pull her down towards me, I stare right through her
When I hold your narrow waist and pull you tight
I wish this was what life was always like
The way your arms feel around my back, relax, relax
Let the senses of your reflexes act.

We sway, so sway, never let this end
The magic, this aggressive passion descend
Pulling us close, swaying like ghosts
I give it all, I won't fade away
I give it all, I won't fade away
I give it all, I won't fade away

Real Life

Often the craziest, most difficult challenges occur within ourselves. I don't mean a battle for your soul (which is the most difficult challenge you will ever face), but I mean the battle of feeling entirely comfortable in your own skin. I have been fortunate enough to meet people from many many different backgrounds, places, and cultures, and I truly believe one of humanities greatest conflicts is within ourself. Psychologically, many people don't believe that they are ultimately worth anything, or that they have a purpose on this earth. Confidence is a large reason why I am able to talk easily with people, make friends quickly, and show my leadership characteristics. But it is not necessarily even confidence that causes you to feel comfortable in your own skin (think of all the arrogant tryhards you've met); its the ability to realize that you are your own self, and you are not just the clone of someone else. You can be like me and can be dorky and ridiculous, or you can be overweight, loud, have buck teeth, and can't smile in public; but either way, you should be comfortable with the person you are. Understand that there is only one of you, and people like you for who you are. People judge and form opinions on people they don't know in under 14 seconds. Why try to impress or be different for someone who already has their opinion of you? Most often, no matter what you do or say, their opinion will never change. It can be modified, but what they thought when they first met you, is what they most likely still feel to this day. So be yourself, and don't change or try to be any different then what you really are.

So we understand that its important to be ourselves, and that we are worth something. But what is our greater meaning in life? Day after day, I meet beautiful girls that are drunks on the weekend and students during the week. I've never been attracted to a lifestyle like that, where drinking is required to have fun, or where drugs are needed to have a "good time." I think girls that are above that, where they aren't the stereotypical 8-4pm student and clubbing all weekend, are something to be admired. I'm all for having a good time, but does that require getting smashed to have it? So the next time I club and you see me with a glass of coke in my hand, realize I'm not about getting wasted and doing regrettable (but secretly not) things, I'm there to have fun, sober. We have a greater meaning in life other then just to party, and I believe most of my generation needs to grow up. When does responsibility for our behavior actually occur?