If I could just close my eyes

I'd be unaware of the fear
the great divide that seats itself between me and you
the misty fog, rising up out of thin, heated air
the knowledge that flows from my mouth is just that,
hot breath, careless words from a foolish heart looking for love

Because really isn't that what we are all looking for?
The chance to grow up, mature, grow up, come out on top?
Roll with the punches, learn from life's lessons?

Before we can roll out with any more cliches, let us continue
back when we first made out, it was all about when I could see you
when I could feel you, fall into you
we changed.

Now you bring yourself close to me
my hands start to shake, my body feels weak even though I'm pressed
right on top of you with all my weight
i'm about to do something I've been waiting for
try to make this right, make this last all night

Your skin is warm, a glowing heat.
you kiss me close, somewhat passionate, totally mysterious
i know what is next, and my legs slightly quiver as I pull through
we fit, we are together, just us two.
whenever you feel as close as this, hold it, strangle this moment
let your words curl out of your lips with remorse nonexistent

This is all you have left.
And all you have left,
is what was given to you.

The Window.

I can't write anymore.

It feels like no matter what I think sounds the same.

We're singing

Our voice is the loudest in these groves
Heavy with the sense of resentment
We used to be so much different
When I started, you knew that I always meant it
I knew I could make a difference
We started to see it's only a matter of time

Words appeared on my page
Faster than I could pull us away
And I knew this, I knew it
But watch you ruin it
The sparkling spotlight, the focus
The feelings, the preparation of stage
Don't say you are ready to turn the page

So now this book has been written
Our pages have been read,
All we have to say is time goes on
Time no longer means anything
Days and hours on the road on this stray light
It didn't mean anything, nothing at all.

You're a season

The waves of our resistance define our choices. The consequences of our actions are unparalleled. We drift, spiral, vanish, beyond the means of reason. I don't truly like this; I don't like letting go, going slow, pushing my thoughts of you aside. If you just didn't have that silly smile, the one where I pull you in, gravitate, and run my fingers through your hair. Your dark, dark, cold hair.

It's our roots. We stem from issues unresolved, complications, triangulations, pieces of our hearts spinning by day, thriving at night. Talking through issues, skipping work, playing by ear, remember? Calling you on the phone talking until the sky begins to open, with warm shafts of light press down upon us. Your hand that was in mine. These are the days I live for.

Unequal, inconsequential, insatiable, our appetite grows. It's hard to be the better man, when you keep on dying. Let the pale, still, earth glow and let your eyes open to this new season. It is now just a period of life, where we let go of our strife, our delights, moving for the sake of motion. It's such a dangerous business to keep your thick, desolate door open when these winds blow in; who knows what will push through to you. Never give up.

I say this in honesty, repentance, and inspiration. You were the reason for my innovation, in and out. The waves lap against the house, our shaky foundations built on mud. It's hard to be intertwined when the bricks you build with are made of sand, right? Like a lock in a door, a room to a hallway, wheels to a car, pillow to a bed, I still embrace you. Keep your pretty head up and never let go. This is our season.

Take this and swallow

I'm so paid I don't have to work to pull off another. I just take a look, if you're worth it, I'll work it; I make eye contact and pull you right over. We will get to the introductions, the teasing, the smiles; the way your eyes stare right through mine like you're running the quarter mile. I'll push you away with a laugh and you'll come back, its part of the game, another angle of attack. I'll pull you close and take your number, the chance that I'll call you later that night is never. I'll walk back to my friends, feeling your eyes heat up my back, girl you know I want it like that.
We'll pull out on town and do it up, droptop or not, we're not living it rough. I'll exchange you paying for me with a guarantee I'll make your life, that very night. I make you work for me, I'm better than your last one, to a more tolerable degree. I'm the challenge you've always wanted. We'll be so close, that our fingers will memorize the grooves of our palms. I know that's all you want.
Why is it that I can't make this work? I know I'm sweet and you are gorgeous, but where's the attraction? Lets be honest, you're just a distraction for her.
I can't get over you.
Well take me, take me back to your bed
I love you so much that it hurts my head
Say I don't mind you under my skin
I'll let the bad parts in, the bad parts in
Goodbye to love,
Well it's a ride that'll push you up
Right against the wall.

The most blunt part of you

Is the way your mouth says no, and your eyes say yes.
How can I say no to something already predetermined before?
Brilliance, luminescence, tumbling
Aftershock, destruction, uncertainty
Reawakening, comfort, unequality
Cascading, enrapturing, terrifying
Spiraling, softly
Falling
For you.

Crunch of Glass

The wind offers a refreshing chill
My stomach turns and I let out a sigh
Its hard to stare straight when you know this isn't right
I walk up to the stairs of a place I know so well
I'm afraid of what I'm going to do
Keeping my voice to a steady level
I open the door and pull her close,
This girl, she really glows

Small talk doesn't start to last
Hugs, kisses, and my pants on the floor
I look back into her eyes, grimace,
And realize I'm not going to be a boy anymore
I can't help but shake from legs to my neck
Her skin tight up against my hips
Something about this I really resist
Its not as easy as my friends made it to be
I'm awkward and I feel a heat wave rise over me
She's moving way too fast and all I wanted was to hold her

We fit in close and I let my mind tingle with shame
Steady steady, this is so right, she claims
This is the first and last time I declare
I'm not even able to think straight I'm so unaware
I tell her words that I don't even mean
It's as if her heart is unseen, and there's nothing between
What's happening now and what is routine
Your hair, it smells of smoke, desperate desires
Unhurt, uncared, the cure for
What I don't even want to follow through with anymore

The air is silent and still
I'm gasping for air and I can't see well
The lust on your face is an unappetizing sight
I just wanted to hold you and tell you its all right
Now we've past that point where I feel contrite
It used to be fairness I breathed,
But the logic in this is choking me up
I'm not ready to give it up
I'm unprepared for a life of failed relationships
You don't recover from a night like this

Your coat hangs awkwardly off the chair,
Displaced, unsure, and in disrepair
I've lost my focus, my composure,
I've had enough of this affair
This act of growing up has declared my grave
I should have known this before I gave ...
I've been a slaughter by a meaningless relationship
Fancy that, follies, lies, the taste of
I now know what its like to be alone in the cold
Dark eyes and a suit tarnished that was made out of gold

I keep my hands down at my sides
I no longer want to rise, and don't you dare tell me I'm a prize
It's hard to make motion if there's no physics to start
I'm a keeper and you used this to pick me apart
The Church where I went to had a picture of Mary in glass
Now I think I've stepped on her and cut my foot on the glass
I've strewn my foot all across the foyer
Up past the priest where he gave me away
All across the altar where I first learned to sing
I've made a grave mistake, for the 'real thing'.

Lights.

It seems like the sun has gone away
You don't want want to smile today
The air is a path we travel
Our skylines, over our cities
We don't see that you unravel

Turbulence and foreign air
Club fares and open wounds that tear
Our synthesized state of disrepair
We know this isn't where we belong
My neck tingles all too long

I know this face like the back of my hand
It was like we had this planned
Your warm embrace creates a smile
If only you were here, you're so worthwhile
Turn off these sights, I don't enjoy these heights
But darling, I love these lights.

-Tyler Stunna-

Jaded Contemplations

I vaguely glanced at a Time magazine as I patiently waited in the lobby. The nervous ticking of the elegant wall clock behind me indirectly interrupted my hurried thoughts, as I dictated the tapping of my knees in rhythm to a monotonous Sheryl Crow song. I glanced about the room in consternation; I frankly could not understand the rationale of a combining waiting room full of unhealthy, obviously ill fools and myself, who was healthy, fit, and in a hurry. The secondhand of the faded clock shrewdly pointed south, and the time expanse of which I had was deftly escaping. It is worth noting that this waiting room was a particularly sparsely populated room; in my immediate vicinity there were probably about a dozen people, certainly no fewer than 8 or 9, chatting in twos or threes.

I looked calmly around the plainly decorated and neutral coloured room and stared. Yes my knee ached, yes I was due for a checkup, and yes I clearly wanted to leave this uninviting, rather depressing facility. Suddenly, a glint of golden light sharply hit my iris, surprising me. I searched to find the object of refraction. I looked up and to the right, and what I saw caused my consistent knee jerk to swiftly discontinue. A gorgeous, raven haired girl sat behind the receptionist's desk. Her thin figure fit her relatively curvaceous frame that subtly gave slight undertones for what she contained. Her golden chain fit nicely under neck, and revealed a tanned complexion. I was in shock. I ignored the wondrous sight before my eyes and planted my eyes on the clock, feeling my cheeks burn with intense warmth from what I surely knew was her derisive glance at me.

As I realized my appointment time had expired with already a quarter of an hour ago, I politely approached the vast front desk and asked the receptionist a question.
"My appointment time was fifteen minutes ago I believe. I really have an urgent appointment to make right after."
Her eyelashes clearly flickered twice, and she replied in remarkably suave and bland (and was it cold?) tone;
"I realize this, Mr. Smith, but we're experiencing delays with a few patients. I'm sorry about this--
I calmly interrupted her and said, "I'd love to be looked at on time for a change, but no worries."
With the same fashionable, authoritative voice, she replied, "Would you like to postpone this appointment? We can do this free of charge."

I stared at her. She suddenly appeared as if to change in front of my eyes. The cold, bland stare seemed to disappear- if only for a moment, and it was replaced by a teasing, erotic smile which initiated a firestorm in my loins. I hesitated.
"Would you be able to contact me personally if you can find me an available appointment?"
She smiled warmly.
"Of course, Mr. Smith. Can I have your mobile telephone number?"
I smiled, steadily, here we go, take it easy. Leaning in, I whispered my number. She pretended to ignore the beautiful attraction that was occurring between us.
"I'll let you know when we can re-schedule Mr. Smith. Thank you for coming today." She smiled warmly at me. I smiled warmly back. I turned to leave and I saw her leaning away. I was puzzled. She was giving her number to a new girl entering the room. SHE CAN'T BE!

I stepped backwards, still watching this scene unfold from beneath my eyes. She handed my portfolio and contact papers to this new receptionist who was sitting her large, untoned body into the seat where Ms. Gracefulsexy had just sat. NO IT CAN'T BE HAPPENING. She started to laugh softly and bid adieu to the new receptionist. I took another few steps backwards, blindly one foot behind the other, in pure consternation. I couldn't believe this. I felt betrayed, shot through the heart.

My back hit the door with a resounding thud. My heart was beating too fast, my capillaries in my heart were about to explode. The arteries were clogged from my two Quarter pounders I had at lunch and I couldn't breathe... I reached my car in agony. I punched the steering wheel in pure desperation, WHY WOULDN'T she call me? As I pulled out of the lot, dropping the clutch in my car, my cell phone rang. I stopped my car, and looked at the caller ID. It was Dr. Chow's office! She WAS PHONING ME BACK!
"Mr. Smith, its Katherine from Dr. Chow's office, I'm calling to re-book an appointment."
It was not her, it was not my lover, and I was broken.
I hung up, jaded from women, once again.

-Tyler Stunna-