Ursa Minor

I love you.
like the sun crossing the sky,
you're the reason why
I want to take this farther.

I look at you,
like I'm staring right through you,
and I thought you should know
that you're who I pursue.

Today I fell down,
and bruised my shin with your heart
I can't believe how perfect this has been
ever since the very start.

I notice the smoothness of your skin
the way your collarbones meet Polaris
they are the wonderful part of our Ursa Minor
we glitter brighter than ever.

That sudden day
we stopped our communication
intuition and your sudden radiation
it was different, an uncalled aberration.

What glitters is gold I'm told
it seems as of late, we just unfold
its not supposed to be like this
the tide doesn't come in as far.

Remember those days we sat on that log,
our affection just went just so far
starry eyed in that fog I swear!
you''ll make it through, I promise.

I touch you once,
I touch you twice, I won't let go at any price;
I needed you now, like I needed you than
You always said we'd meet again.

The crunching of your steps
we don't see eye to eye
the way you shudder at goodbye
the look over your shoulder
I realize you couldn't be any colder.

-Tyler Stunna-

Apart from your heart, we have nothing together

I settle myself. I am all you ever wanted, don't you deny this. The crunch of my footsteps resounds like the silence between us. We've never reached greater heights, and we'll never shine as bright as our Christmas star. The pine needles stab me, piercing and as green as your eyes, just like the way they once were, shimmering, melting, beauty.
It's not that I don't see your heart on the floor, its just my HDTV won't display 'love is real' anymore. Why didn't you take me down and lock me up when you had the chance? I forgot, your handcuffs had no key, it was inserted into my heart. The way your teeth shine in the dark, the way your eyes survey, the ticking of hearts are just too far away. I'm so curious, just like you and me in the dark, the way your eyes don't want my heart to start (yeah my heart stops when I'm with you).
I'm so calm and reposed, let us unfold. Bright lights, bright skies, the way you always say goodbye. Like Ace of Base, you're overrated, synthetic and instrumental, and everything you thought you wanted. The flowing of marrow into my bones is a river, one we cannot paddle through. We've paddled far enough, we're on the rocks. My goodness, you're gorgeous in the sun. I'm a pulley, round and round we go, a Ferris Wheel of emotions and great dreams.
We know we are stunning, and like the climax scene of a rattling play, we are the results of the sins of attraction. I know all you want is my reaction, even when you look so beautiful on your knees. You're such a brilliant noir, a paint of a different shade, not of a specific color. You need me more than ever. I own the night, you make the stars twinkle. Well that's what I said when I first pulled you close, wasn't that supposed to be forever? I settle myself. I take a step back, I move like the greatest of beings, nothing can ever come between. I'm for sure, why can't you be this mature?
The way your skin tastes, the way the shadows fall on your face, and the way we'd be perfect in any other space bring us together. Just like the leather backing of my sofa chafes, the way I brush your straight hair from your face, we should no longer deny the greatest thought of all, you were my sweetest downfall.

-Tyler Stunna-

Take Apart Your Head

Goodbye to love,
Well it's a ride that will push you up
Right against the wall
Take apart your head
Right against the wall
Chew it up and swallow it

You burnt bright but you run out
I fell asleep at the incline
I can't shake this little feeling
I'll never get anything right

Take me, take me back to your bed
I love you so much that it hurts my head
Say, "I don't mind you under my skin
I'll let the bad parts in, the bad parts in"
Well when we were made we were set apart
But life is a test and I get bad marks
Now some saint got the job of writing down my sins
The storm is coming, the storm is coming in.

-Tyler Stunna-


Credit goes to Brand New for its lyrics which are contained in this entry.

Lights.

It seems like the sun has gone away
You don't want want to smile today
The air is a path we travel
Our skylines, over our cities
We don't see that you unravel

Turbulence and foreign air
Club fares and open wounds that tear
Our synthesized state of disrepair
We know this isn't where we belong
My neck tingles all too long

I know this face like the back of my hand
It was like we had this planned
Your warm embrace creates a smile
If only you were here, you're so worthwhile
Turn off these sights, I don't enjoy these heights
But darling, I love these lights.

-Tyler Stunna-

Passing Thoughts.

I sometimes stare and I recall places and people I had thought I had forgotten. I see images and videos that remind me of a time where I was once enjoying a life I did not totally appreciate. Remember Super Soakers? This for instance brings back memories of lawns, sunny Sundays, and heated competition. I remember writing chalk in the rain, and I will always remember large, almost obnoxious sunglasses that really hid more of one's face than revealed it. I remember the lake, how dark and entrancing it used to be to simply stare at the bottom, imagining you were simply just a creature in a lake of the free. I guess I really enjoyed the boat rides, the farmer's markets, the smell of the sea, the looking down the stairs (what felt like went on forever) on my tummy, the DQ trips with Dad, and the long talks with Mom. I know without the parents I have, and the places I've seen, and the activities I've tried, it wouldn't be possible without my parents. And I love them. My parents are the greatest influence and the great providers in my life. My Mother is easily the most respected person in my life, and without her to keep me in line, I'd literally be Ted Bundy. My Father, who spent so many hours playing road hockey, who took me water skiing, who drove me wherever I had to play hockey, is the greatest Dad I could ever ask for. And I love him.
I thank my parents and my family for the wonderful memories I have enjoyed in my life. I am so proud of my family.

This picture reminds me of my cottage in the Muskoka's. and the Kee, in Bala, which I visit every year =)

-Tyler Stunna-

Thrashing Through Sheets.

Its not the way your eyes darken, nor the way your smile begins to quiver. Neither is it the way your hair drapes your face as you lay there.
Its the way we tangle and thrash, the way your eyes lock into mine, the way of sweat, frustration, and excitement collide. We thrash. We're beautiful. You are my sweetest downfall, my greatest challenge. You are the completion of my desires, can you feel this? Can you?

I don't say much. We don't need too. I like to stare and admire how your skin is just so right on your collarbones. How your legs hold back any movement. How you don't blink when you hold me. The ceiling is unwavering, is it like you, before and after we collide? The room is now dark. I can't feel the warmth of any sunshine in this room. I can feel the warmth of your heart and it fills me. I wish we were so much more than just two individuals who are mere sheet tangles. I need you, don't you see?

We thrash. In more ways just than physically. Where our emotions strive to compete with our heart.

-Tyler Stunna-

Jaded Contemplations

I vaguely glanced at a Time magazine as I patiently waited in the lobby. The nervous ticking of the elegant wall clock behind me indirectly interrupted my hurried thoughts, as I dictated the tapping of my knees in rhythm to a monotonous Sheryl Crow song. I glanced about the room in consternation; I frankly could not understand the rationale of a combining waiting room full of unhealthy, obviously ill fools and myself, who was healthy, fit, and in a hurry. The secondhand of the faded clock shrewdly pointed south, and the time expanse of which I had was deftly escaping. It is worth noting that this waiting room was a particularly sparsely populated room; in my immediate vicinity there were probably about a dozen people, certainly no fewer than 8 or 9, chatting in twos or threes.

I looked calmly around the plainly decorated and neutral coloured room and stared. Yes my knee ached, yes I was due for a checkup, and yes I clearly wanted to leave this uninviting, rather depressing facility. Suddenly, a glint of golden light sharply hit my iris, surprising me. I searched to find the object of refraction. I looked up and to the right, and what I saw caused my consistent knee jerk to swiftly discontinue. A gorgeous, raven haired girl sat behind the receptionist's desk. Her thin figure fit her relatively curvaceous frame that subtly gave slight undertones for what she contained. Her golden chain fit nicely under neck, and revealed a tanned complexion. I was in shock. I ignored the wondrous sight before my eyes and planted my eyes on the clock, feeling my cheeks burn with intense warmth from what I surely knew was her derisive glance at me.

As I realized my appointment time had expired with already a quarter of an hour ago, I politely approached the vast front desk and asked the receptionist a question.
"My appointment time was fifteen minutes ago I believe. I really have an urgent appointment to make right after."
Her eyelashes clearly flickered twice, and she replied in remarkably suave and bland (and was it cold?) tone;
"I realize this, Mr. Smith, but we're experiencing delays with a few patients. I'm sorry about this--
I calmly interrupted her and said, "I'd love to be looked at on time for a change, but no worries."
With the same fashionable, authoritative voice, she replied, "Would you like to postpone this appointment? We can do this free of charge."

I stared at her. She suddenly appeared as if to change in front of my eyes. The cold, bland stare seemed to disappear- if only for a moment, and it was replaced by a teasing, erotic smile which initiated a firestorm in my loins. I hesitated.
"Would you be able to contact me personally if you can find me an available appointment?"
She smiled warmly.
"Of course, Mr. Smith. Can I have your mobile telephone number?"
I smiled, steadily, here we go, take it easy. Leaning in, I whispered my number. She pretended to ignore the beautiful attraction that was occurring between us.
"I'll let you know when we can re-schedule Mr. Smith. Thank you for coming today." She smiled warmly at me. I smiled warmly back. I turned to leave and I saw her leaning away. I was puzzled. She was giving her number to a new girl entering the room. SHE CAN'T BE!

I stepped backwards, still watching this scene unfold from beneath my eyes. She handed my portfolio and contact papers to this new receptionist who was sitting her large, untoned body into the seat where Ms. Gracefulsexy had just sat. NO IT CAN'T BE HAPPENING. She started to laugh softly and bid adieu to the new receptionist. I took another few steps backwards, blindly one foot behind the other, in pure consternation. I couldn't believe this. I felt betrayed, shot through the heart.

My back hit the door with a resounding thud. My heart was beating too fast, my capillaries in my heart were about to explode. The arteries were clogged from my two Quarter pounders I had at lunch and I couldn't breathe... I reached my car in agony. I punched the steering wheel in pure desperation, WHY WOULDN'T she call me? As I pulled out of the lot, dropping the clutch in my car, my cell phone rang. I stopped my car, and looked at the caller ID. It was Dr. Chow's office! She WAS PHONING ME BACK!
"Mr. Smith, its Katherine from Dr. Chow's office, I'm calling to re-book an appointment."
It was not her, it was not my lover, and I was broken.
I hung up, jaded from women, once again.

-Tyler Stunna-

You Know Those Times

You know its the times that when things mean the most, that things hurt the most. The worst is when you're with your boyfriend or girlfriend, and you're sitting there making out, and you know they truly just don't connect with you. You know you're physically attracted, check, they have a nice personality, check, a sense of respect, check, but what you need the most, true friendship, is missing (blank). The fact that the deepest conversation you can discuss is his newest car, or her newest pair of shoes, slightly bothers you. The fact that you truly can't tell him or her your deepest thoughts, because you just don't know them, is quite simply, the worst feeling. That's specifically why I only settle 190% for the right person, not for the person at the right time. I'm all down for having a girl with great looks, a nice personality, but if I can't get to actually know her, how can I truly like her?
Some things to think about.

-Tyler Stunna-

You're so Vain.

When you tell me the greatest part of us, is seeing old pictures, I know I can hold through this weather.
The countertops of our life are cracking. The paint is peeling. The walls of my life are closing - deep breath. The stovetop is slow to heat. Just like us when we touched and smiled at first sight.
I think the greatest part of criss cross patterns on the floor, is the knowledge that our vinyl is still slippery. We can't stare and see the sky anymore, the precipitation of our desires holds these rainclouds above us.
I don't want to write anymore, when I can see your thoughts fall off the end of my pen. Its like a failure of us, I can't stand to see occur.
You're so vain.

-Tyler Stunna-

How Do I Handle Myself?

Often, the most difficult challenges we face seem much worse than what they actually are. We often face preconceived notions from others that are unfair, or we face adverse objections from friends closest to us, or we eventually are betrayed by our own weaknesses. As a result, the feeling of dread (and in some cases, a loss of sanity) may occur, revealing a character streak that put bluntly, should have stayed hidden.
you don't really know someone until you seem them angry.
I reflect on my own behavior and the choices I make when I'm particularly challenged or upset. Am I saying things that hurt others? Am I letting others down by placing blame on someone other than myself when I am the one responsible for my mistake?
Now before this note heads into a quick stop in Sceneville, I must give myself a warning. When things grow out of my control, how do I handle myself? I ask myself this question and the famous Soviet cosmonaut, Valentin Lebedev, reminds me of the answer. Lebedev spent 211 days aboard the Salyut 7 space station, and the diary he kept became a cautionary tale. Depression and anxiety were constant reminders of how lonely he was and how frustrated he was becoming without human contact. In the same way, when you're in a strange environment like Lebedev, or when you face challenges that you feel you cannot deal with, do you lash out, or as Lebedev, "begin to count the days" until you can leave your situation or avoid your challenge altogether?
Hey, just some things to think about.

-Tyler Stunna-