Crunch of Glass

The wind offers a refreshing chill
My stomach turns and I let out a sigh
Its hard to stare straight when you know this isn't right
I walk up to the stairs of a place I know so well
I'm afraid of what I'm going to do
Keeping my voice to a steady level
I open the door and pull her close,
This girl, she really glows

Small talk doesn't start to last
Hugs, kisses, and my pants on the floor
I look back into her eyes, grimace,
And realize I'm not going to be a boy anymore
I can't help but shake from legs to my neck
Her skin tight up against my hips
Something about this I really resist
Its not as easy as my friends made it to be
I'm awkward and I feel a heat wave rise over me
She's moving way too fast and all I wanted was to hold her

We fit in close and I let my mind tingle with shame
Steady steady, this is so right, she claims
This is the first and last time I declare
I'm not even able to think straight I'm so unaware
I tell her words that I don't even mean
It's as if her heart is unseen, and there's nothing between
What's happening now and what is routine
Your hair, it smells of smoke, desperate desires
Unhurt, uncared, the cure for
What I don't even want to follow through with anymore

The air is silent and still
I'm gasping for air and I can't see well
The lust on your face is an unappetizing sight
I just wanted to hold you and tell you its all right
Now we've past that point where I feel contrite
It used to be fairness I breathed,
But the logic in this is choking me up
I'm not ready to give it up
I'm unprepared for a life of failed relationships
You don't recover from a night like this

Your coat hangs awkwardly off the chair,
Displaced, unsure, and in disrepair
I've lost my focus, my composure,
I've had enough of this affair
This act of growing up has declared my grave
I should have known this before I gave ...
I've been a slaughter by a meaningless relationship
Fancy that, follies, lies, the taste of
I now know what its like to be alone in the cold
Dark eyes and a suit tarnished that was made out of gold

I keep my hands down at my sides
I no longer want to rise, and don't you dare tell me I'm a prize
It's hard to make motion if there's no physics to start
I'm a keeper and you used this to pick me apart
The Church where I went to had a picture of Mary in glass
Now I think I've stepped on her and cut my foot on the glass
I've strewn my foot all across the foyer
Up past the priest where he gave me away
All across the altar where I first learned to sing
I've made a grave mistake, for the 'real thing'.