Tuesday, March 19, 2013

The Winds

The storm was approaching quite quickly.
The wind began to pick up, dust lapping at our feet, papers beginning to toss and dance in the wind.
I stood outside and looked up at the heavens.
The sky was a dull grey and the clouds were hiding the sun, shapeless and distant, ominous and harsh.

It hit me like a rush.
That time at the cottage when we held hands and jumped off the dock,
The long drives together in the dark,
Blue Jays games, city lights, stiff air mattresses,
Endless episodes of Lost, the beginning of Mad Men,
Toronto Island, Niagara Falls, golf,
Canada's Wonderland.

If it weren't for that beautiful blonde hair and blue-green eyes...
She's not perfect, but she was so good to me.
It just hit me. Like a blow to the chest.
Cold sweat.
How could I move on?
How could I forget? Any of this?

I looked at my watch.
It glowed 3:14AM.
My head is pounding, I feel sick.
Yet I'm very awake in the dark -
Missing my mark,
Missing her.
I knew then that I had to stop the divisive fighting.
Continue loving.
Never give up.